The thoughts flood your mind: This outfit isn't right; I don't know what to say; no one wants to talk to me; or everyone notices I'm all alone.

These thoughts are so powerful that the next time you're invited out, you try, but after circling the block a few times, you give up and just go home. Or, you don't even go out at all.

There's a name for this feeling — social anxiety — and you aren't alone.

In the U.S., it's estimated that about 15 million people in the U.S. experience social anxiety at some point in their lives.

It's more than just shyness. Social anxiety is an intense and persistent fear of being judged and a feeling of self-consciousness that can keep you from:

• Starting a conversation
• Answering a question in a meeting or in class
• Talking on the phone
• Going on a job interview
• Making friends or dating
• Presenting in front of others

The good news? Social anxiety is treatable. And you can start right now.

Mindfulness to calm your social anxiety

You already have the most powerful tool to help calm your social anxiety: your mind.

Mindfulness is a practice of being in the moment and managing thoughts that may be overwhelming you. Being mindful doesn't mean you try to ignore or squash these thoughts — it means you acknowledge and move past them.

While that may sound easier said than done, try these simple approaches to calm your anxiety.

Acknowledge your feelings. As a start, accept what you're feeling, but without judgment. Remember, there are 15 million other people right now who feel the same way you do; it's OK to feel anxious sometimes.

Ground yourself. Grounding techniques remind you to focus on the present moment and let your anxiety fade into the background noise. For example:

Breathe: Breathe in for four seconds, hold your breath for four seconds and breathe out slowly over eight seconds. This helps slow a racing heart.

Touch: Try rubbing your earlobes or elbows to calm your nervous system.

Count: Distract your mind from anxiety and focus it on the present with this counting exercise: Find five things that can be seen, four things that can be felt, three things that can be heard, two things that can be smelled, and one thing that can be tasted.

Pay attention to the present moment. Some experts call this curiosity training. Instead of focusing attention on yourself — how you look or stressing about what to say — push these thoughts to the background and instead pay attention to what's happening around you, the people, the conversation, the situation. To refocus, you can also silently speak a word to yourself, like "mindful," "present" or "focus."

You can even practice this kind of mindfulness in small ways every day and train your brain to be more present. For example, when you eat, pay attention to the way the food looks, how it feels, its smell and taste. Or practice mindful seeing by looking out a window; don't label what you see, but notice the colors, patterns, shapes, texture and movements.

Practice in social situations. If you gradually expose yourself to social situations, you can face your fears and build confidence. Start small: For example, you can offer a brief comment or ask a question in a meeting, make small talk with a cashier or call a friend you haven't seen in a while. The more you practice, the less scary these situations will feel.

More social, less anxiety

Recent reports say that more people than ever before may be experiencing some form of social anxiety — from feeling tense if alone with someone or fearful of saying something embarrassing while talking.

Spending too much time on social media and not enough time face-to-face could be one reason; another could be COVID-19 and the rise of technology like Zoom.

So, let's be more mindful. By practicing these mindfulness techniques and actively being more social, you'll soon build your confidence, get to know the people around you and find joy everywhere you go.

If you'd like to talk to a professional counselor for more help with your social anxiety or other anxiety disorders, turn to Willowbrooke at Tanner's array of outpatient services. Call 770-812-3266 for a free screening.